James (Bob's Dad) and I recently had a chat with Bob's Teacher about his progress. Her dedication , and relentless will to improve the lot of our little ones, never ceases to astonish me. I think it's her refusal to ever be complacent about their achievements that impresses me most...she loves the boys like her own, and even though she praises each accomplishment to the heavens, she doesn't allow herself to relax and say ah sure they're grand now, lets lie back, wraith-like, on our laurels and declare "this is as far as we go...anyone with autism can get off the bus now".
Bob appears to be a sharp little Builder with a great capacity to thrive on a 1:1 basis. However, when in group work, he declares himself redundant and mentally potters off to the educational dole queue where he engages in Herculean attempts at flinging himself off his chair while shutting the group off. The only construction he attempts is the erection of a mass concrete wall between him, his teacher and his good buddies.
And Teacher does not fondly pat his little yellow helmet and say "ah sure he DOES have autism, bless him"....Teacher says "Bob, this is not good enough. You can do better".
Now James and I have become a little complacent over recent months....we have 3 kids and busy lives and ,hey, we knew what Bob meant when he dragged us to the press and screamed. Obviously he wanted choccie spread sandwiches and we didn't really need to go through the whole rigmarole of "Bob, look at me, SAY what you want" ( especially when Toad No.1 is tapping his foot to get out the door to soccer and Toad No.2 is having an anxiety attack trying to choose between turtle or ladybird earrings).
Bob's Teacher very nicely pointed out that we needed to return to basics in order to break down his self-engineered wall, and to keep him a comfortable passenger on the Big Bad Bus. She didn't say it bluntly, but very professionally, in his daily journal about the intense work they were doing to improve his eye contact and ability to verbalise his needs.
So, lords and ladies, sorry to cram not one but two cliches into one sentence (brace yourselves) back to basics and get on that damn bus !!!!!
A super reminder for us not to slip back and become lax when it comes to our children. Sure its easier to stop the whinging by giving them what we KNOW they want and it ends quicker by giving them said toy, or food etc... unfortunately reinforcing that habit makes it increase in frequency and intensity for future requests as we all know.
ReplyDeleteIts fantastic that Bobs teacher is so tuned in and able to discuss things with you assist with getting him back on track as such. I'm watching with baited breath the new unveiling of what your little sprite may be promising :) xxx
Fantastic Blog as always, a very relevant topic in our house as Kyle has a habit of pointing at the things he wants instead of verbalising them. He can say what he wants he just chooses not to and sometimes when you are stressed you just turn a blind eye and give him what he needs. This is a constant reminder to keep on top of our game and not let things slip back for our children, its hard being tough on them but it does reap rewards in the end.
ReplyDeleteAndra xxxx
Lovely post and lucky you for having a such a good outreach teacher. Lots of reinforcers coming her way I hope.
ReplyDeleteDon't give up on PECS yet. You would be amazed how quickly he will start verbalising the words if you calmly lead him back to his book and hand over hand get him to form the sentence
I Want - Chocolate - Bread
Before getting it for them.
You have to breakdown the mummy interpreter instinct when you start PECS and put yourself outside of your house as "the postman" whenever the kids display a need.
"Would the postman Know what you want?" is the first question. well then lets go and work it out then. That way the kids learn to communicate all their needs, universally to anyone. Including the postman. (Bratty would hold hands with the Devil and hand him a sentence strip with "I want Nuggets" if he came to the door)
So when you genuinely cannot work out what they need - especially internally - then you have given them the power to look for a visual means to tell you.
You can't prompt speech. You can't breath air through their larynx and make a sound that you can then reward.
but you can prompt a hand on a card, and give them the scaffolding to speak with the card, or not.
This teaches them the value of engaging with you in order to get their needs met. engage, exchange, they understand they have to communicate with you.
There are many very verbal aspie kids out there, who can recite entire movie scripts, but can't say "Please turn off that stupid light because it is melting my brain" because they have not been taught the value of the interchange, the exchange and the engagement.
And there are almost non-verbal kids who can tell you when you should re-order that teletubbies bath toy you donated to a pre-school 2 years ago because they want it back.
(at a cost of €40 on ebay)
Teaching Verbal Behaviour is teaching the value of the exchange. A gift for life.
Good luck mammy and daddy. xx
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ReplyDeleteApologies for atrocious spelling reminder to self, read over pre-posting.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Jean, it is so great to read that the teacher is really giving Bob so much help and encouragement and also making sure that you don't get complacent.
ReplyDeleteIt's very reassuring in these recessionary times.
Also, keeps your game face on!!
It was a great read as usual.
Fabulous post Jean! It is so, so true what you're saying. Every so often I too have to remind myself to go back to basics with WiiBoy. And to stop doing things for him. But hey, we're all only human after all.... and we all slip up. That's understandable.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you have a fabulous Outreach Teacher. Invaluable that. And a really cool Bus too....hope no-one on that bus gets kicked off any time soon;) xx Jazzy
Fantastic post !
ReplyDeleteI know at times I do things for my little man that he should be doing himself.I try to tell myself that it is easier if I just do it ! when truth be told I know that I am really doing him an injustice. So thanks for the words of wisdom and guess it is time to start helping him to help himself xx