Wednesday, April 21, 2010

SuperMom Sucks

I'm fed up of being SuperMom.

This morning started with a fully leaded, fuel injected, turbo powered tantrum (for there is no other word to describe it) from my 13 year old neurotypical son.

The day wore on with five loads of washing, the frenzied hoovering of scattered pink fish-tank stones (don't ask) before they became an entrĂ©e, in addition to the usual general feeding, watering and bum-wiping that punctuates our days.

Then I looked in the mirror and saw a living paradox gaping back at me...grey hair and  acne.
Mother Nature is a bitch from hell.

Today I really thought I was losing it.
The tension within me was coiled tight enough to spark a small (but perfectly formed) nuclear chain reaction, resulting in a black, charred hole where my home, and my soul, used to be.

It didn't happen like that though.

And I thought, "Why  the hell not???"
What is the magic ingredient that stops us packing a small bag (mostly full of Dermalogica products), nicking the Husband's credit card and hightailing it to Hawaii...
.....For Ever??

I'm not into sentimentality, so if ever a movie is made about my life, Robin Williams won't be in it.
But... has to be plain old love, doesn't it?

Sure, lots of things may come into play like a sense of duty, guilt (especially if you're oirish), and plain old not-knowing-what-else-to-do...but none of those things would fuel us with the stamina we need to stay on course with our autie kids.

Those Greek legends got it all wrong....while the Gods were wrecking their heads trying to fox heroes with the acquisition of golden fleeces and  remonstration with disagreeable Titans, all they had to do was chuck Jason an autie kid and say "live with that!".

It's enough to test the mettle of any demigod.

Yet us mere mortals seem to be doing an OK job of it, even when we have days that make 'One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest' seem a desirable holiday destination.

How come I could hug and kiss my three kids tonight, when earlier today I would have braved any amount of volcanic ash to be catapulted anywhere long as it was far, far away?

Answers on a postcard please.


  1. A trick by mother nature to ensure the continuation of the human race, but how I love that trick :D Jen. PS, I have my 'running away money' ready, where should we go??

  2. I have a really complicated love/hate relationship with Mother Nature...I have no running away money, but I'd happily engage in a little pole dancing (in, say, Miami?) to make ends meet while we live the Beyonce/Lady GaGa dream??? xxx
    (they haven't an ounce of cellulite between them)

  3. Don't forget me, I'm great at getting lost, in fact i'm known for it, but thats another story ;-) stil I know those feelings only too well and they def do pass and we do it all again the next day, xx

  4. I would have picked up the sink and smashed the window to jump out if I had the strength today. But with a triple headache I just couldn't rip the bloody thing off the wall.

    I find a dose of Bratty in a good humor really helps. She is cuddly and soft skinned and loves playing Rah! DiSaur (Dinosaur) and getting under the quilt and just switching everything else off.


  5. @autiMom, thanks for's good to know I'm not the only looper in town xxxx
    P.S so, about this story of

  6. I'll tell you what keeps me sane. The knowledge that hubby will come from work and the little horrors will switch to him. He was half an hour late tonight and found me hiding in bed, "not-feeling-well", while the downstairs was being wrecked.
    How do single mums manage is beyond me. You, girls, are heroes.
    Before I had kids I thought the story of Medea was one of the worst among a rather gruesome lot. Well, now I have a fair idea of how she was feelin'. Mind you, if I come to Miami I'll have to take the horrors with me to make sure they are fed properly...

  7. @ Hammie...Rah! DiSaur sounds like a cool game...and you're much too small to go ripping sinks out of might break a nail FFS!!! XXX

  8. @Truf...yep, the duvet is the best suit of armour ever!
    Single parents are a breed apart...they have spines made of titanium xxx

  9. I had a day like that yesterday, and my dad still hasn't sent over the stack of old plates for me to throw he he. But Smiley came home from respite and she appreciates every little thing sooo much, it always keeps me going xx

  10. pml Blue Sky...I'd have LOVED to smash a few plates yesterday...very satisfying xxx

  11. Know that feeling only too well right now Jeanie. Somedays I even get into the car but can never turn the key...godamn motherly instincts take over. Great post

  12. Don't go anywhere without me! I have running away money too! Every now and then I look around my madhouse and think "I chose this" (well, not the autie part, but the having kids thing!) and not only did I coose it I spent years fighting for it! I could be living it up in miami now! But you're right - love pulls you back in every time and I'm so glad it does! xxx

  13. @Patsy least it's quiet in the car, even if you don't actually start it
    @Taz, I'm glad too (most of the time)

  14. great blog Jean I'm constantly amazed that there are people like me out there... For me this computer is my out-let and all my good friends on it x x x (ps last week my hubbie accused me of having rage issues after my rant to him .. he's a sensitive soul lol)

  15. Ohhh the teenage hormone fuelled years are fun eh? I'd run away but I know they'd hunt me down and find me hehe... xxx

  16. @Kat, there are many, many of us lol
    @ petunia yep, they'd seek us out....

  17. I think we all know those days Jean, but how eloquently you put it. My Granny ahd her running away money and taught my mother to do it. Mr Jazzy found some of mine today while he helped me look for yet another thing I had misplaced!

    I'm really liking the pole-dancing idea... I'm sure we could do that in Hawaii too! xx Jazzy

  18. love it Jazzy...Hawaii it is! xxx