Monday, September 20, 2010

Singing In The Rain

I should be miserable.


It's raining...
...and it's not the rain I like, which is the take-the-skin-off-your-back rain with hair on it's chest and fire in it's belly.  The kind that sounds like there's a small army of steel toed tap-dancers on acid doing an electric boogaloo on your roof.

But no, it's that half-hearted, snivelly sort of drizzle that can't quite decide if it's going to fade dully into fog or just find a quiet corner in a field and die of boredom.

So there's crap rain going on.

Then there's the coffee jar.
I keep an old coffee jar for chucking in those annoying copper coins that rattle around your purse and make it hard to find the real money.
This morning I upended that coffee jar, took the contents into the bank, and changed it to cash to help us buy bread and milk for the rest of the month.
Even the church-mice shed a tear.




So I should be wailing and gnashing my teeth all the way to the loan shark to sell him a kidney.

But I feel unaccountably happy and serene.
I don't normally question feeling happy...I just enjoy it, but this just didn't add up.
I wondered if my anti-depressants had been souped up by a renegade pharmacist, hell-bent on making the world a happier place.
I wondered if I had become so jaded by life that I had succumbed to some giant happy delusion just to help me cope.
I questioned if I had finally overdosed on tea, leading to a delightful loss of grip on reality.

But it's none of that.
As I drove into town this morning I thought of the marriage vows Bob's Dad and I took over 14 years ago, and remembered how we promised to be there for each other for better or for worse.

Well, I guess this is a "worse" bit (autism, miscarriage, depression etc. notwithstanding *cough*...okay, so there may have been some other difficult times as well), and we're still a strong couple.
I can't believe I'm saying this with a straight face, but love really is all that matters.



After all these years of trying hard to be grumpy old cynic, it took a recession and a few of life's hard knocks to bring out the romantic in me.
Who'd have thunk it.

15 comments:

  1. Awh a lovely blog Jean. We should compare the bad times and take notes!!! :-)
    We've reached the 8 year mark and couldn't be happier either.

    I'm with you though with the rain, I love the hard, stinging rain, you know where you are with that. I like to know exactly where I am and what is coming at me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love in your life beats money in the bank, security for the future, Manolo Bhlaniks and the career you always dreamed of. It is what makes life seem rosier and without it all is grey and dull. That's not just the hormones talking it is the truth.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Awe! Jeanie! What a lovely post. I feel very blessed to have mr taz in my life. He's my rock. And I get the feeling that your lovely J is the same for you. Good men are hard to find, but we seem to have hit the jackpot!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I can't ever imagine you as a grumpy old cynic! I love a bit of romance though :) Jen

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sucker for romance myself, lovely blog Jeanie, made me feel all warm inside despite the damn rain. xx

    ReplyDelete
  6. @ Elaine, next big downpour we should meet up and go dancing in it!
    @ Alison, stop it, you'll make me cry you wagon
    @ Taz, yep, we have good dudes
    @ Jen, I seem to be a failed cynic (thankfully)
    @ Andra, warm and fuzzy is good
    XXX

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi Jen, glad to see that you failed as a cynic, I'm almost there.
    Your post made me kind of smile and have a tear in my eye at the same time.
    Can you really overdose on tea? They dont put that on the labels. Bxxx

    ReplyDelete
  8. The last paragraph really hit home with me. I went through that, too. Autism, miscarriage, depression, etc.. What keeps me going is the strength in my relationship with my husband. Our love for each other and our kids.

    ReplyDelete
  9. This really made me smile, so glad you're happy xx

    ReplyDelete
  10. That was romantic Jean and I too and glad that you are happy! Wish that I had such a great guy! Congrats on over 14 years!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Aww...this is lovely and it made me smile too! It's good that you've found your happy place ;-)
    xx Jazzy

    ReplyDelete
  12. @ Brigid, you can indeed overdose on tea, but it's a nice way to go
    @ Tammy, I hear you
    @ Blue Sky, cheers doll
    @ Lora, thanks for that
    @ Jazzy, peace and love maaaaaaan!!!
    XXX

    ReplyDelete
  13. Sad to say.......it appears we have far too much in common........maybe I should be happy about that come to think of it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. @ Rachel, cheers!
    @ Maddy, there's plenty of us about
    XXX

    ReplyDelete