Saturday, July 7, 2012

Teenage Dreams

Do you ever stop mid-flow in the busy hum of your life and wonder "How in the name of Methuselah, and all his beardy buddies, did I get here?"
Not in a Big Bang vs. God kinda way, but in a "why am I scrubbing the jacks when I was meant to be saving the planet?" kinda way.

I am appalled to discover that approximately three seconds ago I was 14, with ambitions to have boobs and well behaved hair.
I was going to be a world famous scientist who would discover a cure for cancer while wearing Chanel and bouncing an immaculately behaved baby on one hip.
My life would be as smooth and polished as a 1980's Filofax.

In the space of nanoseconds, I appear to have got married, given birth to children and acquired a magical laundry basket that fairies fill overnight with small mountains of mouldy socks.
I swear it growls at me some days.

I have scored a hat-trick on the baby front and have three marginally feral children who are fabulous whirlwinds of energy, but leave little room for any pretensions of order.
I have difficulty matching my socks never mind juggling a family and a career.

I'm pretty sure that if I ever made it to the bottom of my laundry basket I would find my fossilized Filofax.
In years to come, archaeologists might pore over it and wonder just who was this dynamic creature and what led to her extinction?
Or maybe they'd chuck it in the bin and say "what a complete is capable of doing all that without a crack team of childminders, house-keepers and bar-tenders in the background.  Especially the bar-tenders."

And to my horror, I am still no closer to realizing my ambitions on the boob or the hair front.

If it's taken me thirty years to get exactly nowhere with my teenage dreams, I should  just about have chased them down in time to make a very pretty corpse.

But teenage dreams are too full of rock stars and Hollywood to allow for autism, depression, sick babies, financial struggles, job worries and all the crap that the universe, in it's infinite *cough* wisdom, flings at us.

They also don't allow for the joy you feel when you know that you married a great guy who can hornpipe through life's horse turds with you (I wish I'd put that in my wedding vows).
Or the thrill when your autie kid makes eye contact with you.

Or the elation when you finally match your socks.

Life is great, and it's so much better, and harder, than I ever dreamt when I was 14.


  1. when i was 14 all I wanted was to be a mammy, married to George Michael and have a huge house in the middle of Disneyworld! 1 out of 3 ain't bad!
    Taz xx

  2. Well, I hear George is still single and maybe Walt Disney will be thawed out and decide Drawda would be an excellent venue for an Irish themed park...XXX

  3. At 14 my dreams were about a certain boy who lived on the other side of town and getting my hands on a slinky black dress and wondering how I could get round my parents to get to the next party! Glad that some things have worked out well for you xx

  4. I am so old that I can't remember what I was dreaming of at the age of 14!! However, I do remember my filofax and in fact I think I still have it somewhere... can't bear to part with it!! You write a good story! xx

  5. Dreams at 14 are fluffy and awesome, sure... but surviving real life is the true test! And you're doing just fine... :)
    Very nicely written.
    Here's to more matching sock-elation!

  6. Twenty years ago I wanted to be a model, be very rich and famous with a fabulous penthouse. It took perseverence and hard work but I got there eventually, you just need to try Jean. xxx

  7. @ BlueSky, do you ever wonder what became of all our teenage crushes?
    @ BrightSide, A Filofax seemed like the answer to everything!
    @ Devina, I'm very proud of my sock-matching abilities
    @ Alison, just feck off

  8. Big boos are overrated, but you can't pay too much for great hair.

  9. What great memory you have...I can't remember my 14 yo teenage dreams! I was discovering boys but was afraid of them! I know I wanted to be an air hostess but not what age I decided that. I also would tell everyone that I wasn't going to get married til I was 30. I managed that one alright, a couple of years out!

    xx Jazzy

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  11. seems so long ago. Priorities were so different indeed. I do remember boys, cigarettes, and booze. What a nightmare I was for my parents.

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